My Immortal
by Crayola Hearts
Summary: He felt haunted. Her face, her voice, her touch, they were the basis his nightmares and the source of his disrepair; the cause of the burning in his insides and the ache of his heart. It was the reason for the continuous churning of his stomach and the jelly like feeling in his legs. T for language.


It was bitter.

So fucking bitter.

It was so fucking horribly and disgustingly bitter. Enough that he could taste it; and it made he want to vomit. The horrid taste of blood and bile filled his mouth, but he forced it down and removed his teeth from the raw lip the clung to; hurting himself would do no good - but then again he was already in pain. That pain was greater than any physical pain could muster. It was like a burning pain in the emptiness of his being that no amount of time or comfort or medication could ever erase.

He felt haunted. Her face, her voice, her touch, they were the basis his nightmares and the source of his disrepair; the cause of the burning in his insides and the ache of his heart. It was the reason for the continuous churning of his stomach and the jelly like feeling in his legs. It tormented him, ruined him, and broke him in ways no other could have been capable of. His sanity began to slip and his will to live and love again with it.

He thought he knew.

He thought he understood the pain of losing a loved one when his parents had been, but he didn't. He knew nothing of that pain; until he'd lost _her_. He wasn't even sure such a pain like this had existed, but it had and he was its victim. It was ripping him apart; breaking his heart into a million pieces and scattering the shards across the land before him so that they became lost in the wind and all hope of repair vanished.

The marker before him was nothing more than an amplifier, the marble surface reflecting with the little light as the cold rain fell from the heavens. For the first in years he felt cold; he kept his clothes on holding them against his toned body as if they would offer warmth, but that was a luxury he wasn't granted. Despite this, he didn't feel like moving; he didn't feel like doing anything. He stood stock still, dark orbs fixed on the stone and the engraving which held her name.

It fucking hurt.

His knees finally gave out on him and he collapsed, mud and water splashing out of the earth. All feeling physical was forgotten as the first of many tears rolled down his cheeks, becoming lost within the rain. Sobs racked his body as his trembling hands gripped the white jacket as tightly as they could. He remembered every good moment shared with her.

She was like an angel among the turmoil, glowing so bright and beautifully. Nothing seemed to dampen her, until that dreaded day. Until the day she had gotten sick and the news of a slim chance for recovery rang out across the Guild Hall like a shot in the dark. The silence that had settled over the members was heavy and almost suffocating like a bolt of lightning had dazed them where they stood. The rest of the day had gone on with the same mood, members aimlessly milling around with looks of utter grief plastered upon their usually smiling faces.

Then it happened.

It happened in the middle of the night when no one was around to see. Her heart took its last beat and the last breath escaped her lungs. When they'd found her the next morning she was as cold and limp; her once chocolate-brown eyes a dull shade grey and all life absent from her frame.

That day was the most painful for all of Fairy Tail.

A week had passed since then, but the guild was still in a sullen state. The usual fights were absent and even those who rarely drank were drinking themselves senseless as they mourned. As was a certain ice mage. Even when Natsu had left the grave site, he hadn't. He stood there, all day and half way through the nights with a near broken-hearted expression. No one bothered him, not even the ever so clingy water mage tried to drag him away, for everyone knew her death was unbelievably painful for him.

Silently, he reached for the maker, letting his fingers trail over the smooth stone; the only blemishes were the letters of her name engraved with such exact precision it was frightening. His stomach twisted and churned as his eyes traced the script until he had read the full name.

_Lucy Heartfilia_

His teeth dug into his sore lip. "I-I love you, I always have. I wanted you to stay...Lucy I need to hear you say it. I-I miss you."

* * *

**_Author's Note: AYYYEE SIR! Done, finally. Took me about three hours cause I kept getting out of the mood and distracted, shit my ramen._**


End file.
